ESPN's Bottom Line - Version 2.0

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Titus Can't Be Stopped

ESPN  SAN CLEMENTE, Calif. -- Authorities say former Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young has been arrested in California for the third time in a week.
Orange County Sheriff's spokesman Lt. Joe Balicki says the 23-year-old Young was arrested late Friday in San Clemente for allegedly breaking into a home.
Balicki says Young fought with deputies after a foot chase. He has been charged with attempted burglary, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest. He is in custody Sunday on $75,000 bail.
"There was a brief struggle," Balicki said, according to the Detroit News. "He wanted to fight with the deputies. They ended up subduing him."
Young also was arrested last Sunday in Riverside County on suspicion of driving under the influence, then was arrested again the same day for trying to take his car from a tow yard.

3 times in a week?  Dude is on an absolute tear.  Now the only team dumb enough to sign him is the Cincinnati Bengals.  3 arrests for them is child's play.  You've gotta do much worse things than driving under the influence, attempted burglary, assaulting a cop, stealing a car out of a tow yard, and breaking and entering to garner a top 5 spot in Bengal criminal history.  Those guys just get cuffed at will.

In all seriousness, Titus is one mugshot away from tying his seasons TD total.  Bro is worse than Brandon Marshall circa 2008.  And to think I drafted him as a late round pickup in fantasy last year.  Thought defenses would focus on stopping Calvin giving the former Boise State Bronco room to operate.  From fantasy sleeper to real life nightmare.  Titus may be in the Tyson Zone now.  Crazy city.  Luckily he's only 23.  Nowhere to go but up, right?


Check out Titus's 3 mugshots.  Which ones the best?  It's gotta be mugshot #2, right?  Rocking that "Yup, this is my 2nd mugshot today, I'm not proud but I'm not surprised" look.  

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Yanks Back in the News

ESPN  KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- New York Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain scolded teammate Mariano Rivera before Saturday night's game, telling the star closer never to "shush" him.
New York media reports said the brief rebuke occurred before the Yankees beat Kansas City 3-2.
Rivera was talking to reporters in the dugout about his "emotional" meeting with local fans earlier in the day, while Chamberlain was standing just outside the bench chatting with his family.
At one point, Rivera told Chamberlain to lower his voice. Once Rivera's interview was done, Chamberlain told Rivera in front of reporters: "Don't ever shush me."
Chamberlain then reiterated his message, saying he was serious about it.
After the game, the players said the issue was between them to handle.

Really?  You've gotta be kidding me.  How is this a story.  Mariano Rivera, naturally, is getting interviewed.  Of course, if he's talking to a reporter everyone in the vicinity needs to be quiet.  Give the man the respect he's earned.  So some mediocre SP or RP or whatever, who was supposed to be a stud but never panned out, is naturally jealous of Rivera's sustained excellence.  Unsurprisingly, he gets so irritated that he warns the beloved legend never to shush him again.  Seems like a pretty typical story.  Stuff like this happens often.

Only takeaway is that Joba is clearly pissed with how his career turned out.  Think back.  This young fire arm in the Yanks farm system was supposed to be the next big thing.  Even had a dynamite nickname in "Joba the Hut."  Was poised to be another Bronx success story.   Once he gets to the Bigs, though, shit just hit the fan. He can't get anyone out, he injuries his shoulder, then he injuries his right ankle in a strange trampoline incident in which he nearly died from.  One of the oddest career arcs of all time.

I honestly had no idea Joba was still a professional athlete until I heard this "story."  Thought he was some washed up pitching coach in Japan or some shit.  Maybe even a short order cook with that stomach of his.  Anyway, I just found out that he broke his oblique a few weeks ago.  Classic Chamberlain.  Dude just can't catch a break so he takes his anger out on a 5 time World Series Champ.  Just a simple case of jealousy.  Standard procedure.  

The New York media has not given the Yanks any attention so far this season.  It's been refreshing but that's all about to change.  The Isles are out of the playoffs and the Knicks/Rangers could both be out by the end of the week.  Get ready for the pinstripe talk.  I'm already sick of it.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Ramsey Auto Tune is Straight Fire

No need to re-hash the disappearance of the Cleveland girls and the rescue from neighbor Charles Ramsey.  We all know what happened.  It was unspeakable.  We also know that Ramsey's a top-notch neighbor and a budding comedian.  Man's funnier than a baby in a tuxedo.  So let's head straight to the auto tune.  I'm declaring "Dead Giveaway" pure gold and it's a no brainer.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Game of Thrones....Except with Jets Quarterbacks

So unless you've been in a coma for the past 6 months you know that the Jets QB situation is an absolute mess and that Game of Thrones is awesome. If you think Game of Thrones isn't awesome you either suck or you're my roommate Jake Nannen (possibly both). Anyway, I was watching the newest episode a few nights ago and as I was trying to remember what was going on with the 50 different characters, I realized that the fight for the Iron Throne is kind of like the fight for the Jets starting QB situation. I understand some of these comparisons may not be perfect but I think they are the closest as far as the show goes. *Spoilers