ESPN's Bottom Line - Version 2.0

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Week 1 Predictions (2013)

27 Baltimore at Denver 20

The Ravens have a huge chip on their shoulder.  I'm not talking about a standard Lay's potato chip sized chip here, folks.  I'm talking about a large tortilla chip sized chip.  When you win the Super Bowl and everyone doubts you, you get angry.  Not Ray Lewis angry, as #52 has retired, but maybe Michael Oher (played by Quinton Aaron) level angry when he imagines protecting Leigh Anne in "The Blind Side."  Baltimore's out there to prove the public wrong.  Talking heads have said the Ravens D is a lot worse than last year.  Hell, they lost Lewis, Ed Reed, Daniel Ellerbe, and Paul Kruger among others.  But Baltimore rebuilt their D on the sly bringing in the 6 foot 7 Chris Canty, underrated middle linebacker Daryl Smith, and pass rushing extraordinaire  Elvis Dumervil.  I expect Baltimore to come out with a vengeance and take the Broncos out in Denver.

41 New England at Buffalo 24

Similarly to the Ravens, the Pats are inexplicably being doubted.  New England will control the pace utilizing Stevan Ridley against the Bills' weak run defense.  On the other side, I see E.J Manuel putting up some points on the Pats.  Maybe a rush TD, maybe one through the air.  But I also see a few rookie mistakes from the Florida State product.  The scheduling Gods really screwed the youngster here putting him against the Pats in his first ever start.  Brutal break, bro.

17 Cincinnati at Chicago 37

The Bears are going to destroy Cincy in this one.  Giovanni Bernard will struggle in his debut, to the tune of 8 carries for 18 yards, prompting weak fantasy owners to panic and sell low to astute fantasy owners.  To all the fantasy GM's out there, that's just an awful business plan.  Remember, sell high, buy low.  Back to the game at hand, I love the Bears D to come out ferociously and force a few early turnovers.  Soldier field will be rocking as the Bears cruise to a statement win.

20 Miami at Cleveland 23

Ryan Tannehill vs Brandon Weeden.  The battle of sophomore quarterbacks who were drafted way too high in 2011.  Also a battle between two teams expected to be frisky this year.  I foresee a defensive struggle that ends up in overtime.  I can see it now; Tannehill throws a pick 6 with five minutes left as the Browns tie it up at 20.  In overtime, after a few back and forth possessions, Paul Kruger forces a fumble by Tannehill in his own territory.  After a few hard runs by Trent Richardson, Shayne Graham nails a 38 yard field goal to give Cleveland their first Week 1 since 2004.  That wasn't a typo.  Miami fans are indifferent, Cleveland fans are ecstatic, and the Browns end up going 6-10.  Ho-hum.  

34 Atlanta at New Orleans 27

I know Sean Payton is back but this Saints D is still weaker than Carly Rae Jepsen's right arm.  Steven Jackson will have a huge game in his debut as a Falcon in route to a big Atlanta road win.  25 carries, 138 yards, 2 TD for the 30 year old back.

31 Tampa Bay at NY Jets 17

I'm being kind with 17 points here for the Jets but I'm assuming at least half of that comes in garbage time.  Mark Barron, along with new Bucs Darrelle Revis and Dashon Goldson, are going to have a field day in the secondary.  Even if it is agains the lowly Jets, Tampa makes a statement here; they will not be an NFC doormat (contrary to Bill Simmons' belief... he has them as the worst team in the entire conference).

10 Tennessee at Pittsburgh 27

Big Ben doesn't lose these types of games.  At home.  Week 1.  Against Jake Locker.  Roethlisberger will lead the Steelers to victory with his arm, but also his feet, against the average Titans D.  Expect Isaac Redman to have a solid showing (Tennessee was 24th against the run last year).  Don't get me wrong, Isaac Redman is a very, very medicore NFL running back.  Dude may be the worst starter out there.  But I have a feeling he shows up in Week 1.  And the Steelers D is going to absolutely destroy Jake Locker.  Sack city.

13 Minnesota at Detroit 21

These two teams could end up with basically any record this year and i wouldn't bat on eye.  The Lions and Vikings are total enigmas this year.  But I like Detroit to be better this year and I think Stafford gets the job done at home.

23 Oakland at Indianapolis 26

Terrelle Pryor will make some noise with his feet in this contest but Indy takes a close one.  I don't expect the Colts to have an effective rushing attack this year and if forced to throw, Oakland's secondary ain't too shabby.  Charles Woodson, Tracy Porter, and Mike Jenkins are all new starters in the secondary acquired via free agency.  Consequently, I don't have Indy demolishing the Raiders like many others do.  One last prediction:  Darren McFadden leaves the game in the 3rd quarter with Turf Toe.  Too typical.

29 Seattle at Carolina 23

An overtime affair in Charlotte!  I like the Panthers to go toe to toe with the Hawks as Russell Wilson and Cam Newton both move the ball with ease.  However, I believe both offenses struggle to get into the end zone.  The Seahawks D will be fantastic as usual and the Panthers D will be stingy in the red zone (just a random prediction).  In OT, Seattle pounds the rock with Lynch for a long drive that ends in a 16 year TD pass from Wilson to Golden Tate.  Could be the best game of the week.

38 Kansas City at Jacksonville 14

A battle of two teams that couldn't combine for 5 wins last year.  Think it's gonna be a snooze fest, right?  Think again.  The Chiefs are coming in hot this year; Alex Smith's about to put on a show.  Poor Maurice Jones-Drew.  All he can look forward to on Sunday's is checking his fantasy team.  Wonder if he drafted Blaine Gabbert late.  Doubt it.  

17 Arizona at St. Louis 23

Callin' a pretty standard game here.  Palmer to Fitzgerald for a TD.  Sam Bradford doesn't throw the ball more than 10 yards downfield.  Cortland Finnegan gets into a fist fight.  Legatron kicks a few field goals and the Rams win a low/mid scoring game by 6.  Later in the day, Darnell Docket throws out some gnarly twitter game and all is right in the world.

30 Green Bay at San Francisco 34

San Fran knocked the Pack out of the playoffs with an offensive explosion led by Kaepernick (181 rush yards and 4 total TD).  I think Green Bay will be well prepared for this affair but that doesn't mean Don Capers' D can stop Kap.  They can only hope to contain him.  On the other hand, the Niners will lock down whichever running back the Pack throws its way forcing Rodgers to win the game single handedly.  Close but no cigar.  Pack start off 0-1.

20 NY Giants at Dallas 38

A romp in Jerry's world.  Classic Cowboys to come out with a bang in Week 1, have an up and down year where they beat a lot of good teams but lose to a lot of bad ones, and then fall just short of the playoffs.  This Giants D is overrated, my friends, and if JPP can't suit up, Romo and Dez Bryant are gonna put up some numbers.  

17 Philadelphia at Washington 26

Actually have the team from Washington D.C regressing this year but I think they take care of business on Monday Night Football.  RG3 needs to prove he is healthy though I don't expect the Baylor product to use his legs, unless of course, a play completely breaks down.  He also needs to prove he isn't scared of getting hurt again and this is the perfect game to prove that.  The Eagles pass rush looks to be potent this year with Trent Cole, former Texan Connor Barwin, and lineman Fletcher Cox leading the charge.  Expect Philly to learn from this loss and rebound strong next week.

27 Houston at San Diego 6

I was debating between picking a shocking Charger home win or a Texan blowout.  This debate lasted about 6 seconds.  Coincidentally, that's all the points San Diego's gonna get against the staunch Texan D.  I'm peeved that this is a Monday Night game though.  First, because it won't be a competitive game, but second and more importantly, because I don't feel like hearing John Gruden bow down to J.J Watt for 60 minutes.  I honestly think I'd rather watch 60 minutes than hear... oh wait, apparently Chris Berman and Trent Dilfer are announcing the second Monday Night game.  Should've counted my blessings.

Last Year: 162-93-1

This Week (so far): 0-1

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