ESPN's Bottom Line - Version 2.0

Monday, February 3, 2014

Post Super Bowl Sports to Watch

          So the Super Bowl is over, and I’m sure you’re asking, why even watch sports anymore? THAT’S THE BEST YOU CAN DO AMERICA? A 43-8 blowout? Sure, the Manning Face is a nice gag once in a while, but it should never be the main attraction. Roger Goodell should have known better.  
             I’m here to tell you not to lose hope. Even if you don’t care about the chaos that is this year’s college basketball, the stacked NBA western conference, the (now apparently only outdoors) NHL, some of the most fascinating Premier League and La Liga title races in a decade, or the Winter Olympics, I’m here to tell you there’s hope. Here’s what you should be watching now that the NFL is done.


           You thought the Super Bowl was all New Jersey had going on during the month of February? WRONG. Now that you’ve experienced the beauty and natural wonder of East Rutherford, feel free to stick around the New Jersey area and travel just 45 minutes south to North Brunswick, New Jersey and experience the USBC Masters (February 17) and the PBA League Elias Cup Finals (February 24). It’s something you won’t want to miss. Maybe.


             Want to see what Canadians do for fun? Then watch Brad Jacobs and his family take on the best in their quest for Olympic gold and the ability to declare themselves the #1 in broom-sweeping. Also apparently curling is sexy now. So there’s that.


            Forget watching a pitcher shake off a catcher for the 14th time, a batter stepping out of the box to fix his glove for the 18th time, or the close up of a player spitting out dip for the 800th time, what could be more exciting then waiting to hear the outcome of Kenley Jansen’s arbitration hearing? Or even better, finding out if Sam Fuld is going to find a Major League contract? Come on, Peter Gammons, where are you when we need you?


            TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS PHIL MICKLESON TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS RORY MCILROY TIGER WOODS. Seriously guys, I googled golf and apparently this has been the field for every tournament in the past 18 months. Oh, and Angel Cabrera. I love that guy.


            So, true story, I went to go pick up wings for the Super Bowl, and the line was super long so I ended staying there past kickoff. Any idea what was on TV? What else but professional poker! Was I pissed? Of course not! What’s more fascinating than figuring out whether Scotty Nguyen should fold on a Jack-5 offsuit. Anybody? Anybody? Disagreeing with me is like saying leaving your job as a baseball analyst and joining a rock band isn’t a good idea. Speaking of which…


            And of course, I save the best for last. Do you love saying “I didn’t know Joel Anthony was still in the NBA” or “I thought Kelly Olynyk was a girl” or even “I’m pretty sure Beno Udrih plays pickup at the local YMCA”? Then, boy do I have a treat for you! Who can avoid the thrill of watching the Charlotte Bobcats try to hold off the Detroit Pistons for the 8th seed and the right to get thrashed by Indiana in the first round. Raise your hands! Higher! I can’t see them. Actually, I can’t see any hands at all. On second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. When’s football season starting again?

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